Frontier's American Road Trip!
by Kaito Lune
Summary: The Frontier Co. plus a bus equals what? An American Roadtrip with all the craziness and problems that goes with it. Of course things are never easy when they have a mission to do. Random humor, OOCness. DISCONTINUED.
1. WARNINGS, DISCLAIMER, NOTES

**WARNINGS, DISCLAIMERS, AND QUICK NOTES.**

"Sorry for starting off like this, but don't mind this unless you want to get a better understanding of what's going to be going on in/with this story," Kaito Lune said. "I won't appear in this fic, but I should do this."

"Boo! Get to the story!" shouted the crowd.

She held up her hands innocently. "I will in a minute!" she shouted. "As a quick note, this is just something I started today when I was bored and unfortunately, my Dad had the computer where the next chapter of _Being the Enemy_ was being worked on was at and I was unable to work on it. I also wanted to work on something that was a bit different from my other fics on here, which are mainly action with little humor. This is the exact opposite; more humor and less action."

Takuya suddenly walked into the room. "What's this about a new fic?" he asked.

"I already explained it above," Kaito Lune said, pointing to the text further up.

"Well, I'm too lazy to read the text above me," he replied. "Anyway, can I help with this? I already know some of it!"

Lune shrugged. "Okay, but Zoe gets to help too."

Takuya snorted. "Alright."

"And Koji, Koichi, JP, and Tommy."

Takuya frowned. "Not fair!"

"I'm an author, I'm not supposed to be fair to the characters," Lune smirked, waving her hand. "Now don't complain before I do something really bad to you that'll leave you scared for life."

"Like what?" Takuya asked cockily.

Koji rolled his eyes. "Idiot," he muttered.

Zoe shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Takuya!" she warned him. JP nodded in agreement.

Takuya paid it no mind. "What'cha going to do? Erase me from the story?"

Lune smirked and quickly jotted something in her notebook. The next thing Takuya knew was that he was hanging from the ceiling by his toes in nothing but his underwear, which was white with red hearts. The audience did a mixture of seething and laughing.

Koji and Koichi stifled laughter. JP was laughing out loud and Tommy was backing away from the room. Zoe shook her head. "He had it coming," she muttered.

Takuya found himself a few seconds later in his clothes and on the ground, blushing fifty shades of red. "Youcanhaveyourway!" he said quickly from embarrassment.

Lune chuckled. "Anyway," she said. "This fic will be an AU to my other sequel Frontier stories. Nazu, Shannon, Hayato, Seth, and Tin will NOT be in it." From back stage, the crowd could hear a whine and complaining. "Also, since this is going to be a road trip story, you guys get to chose the destinations as they go on their American Road trip Adventure!"

"We'll take up the warning," volunteered Koichi.

"You guys can, but leave me out of it," Koji said. Lune gave Koji a quick look that made Koji's face flush from fear. "N-never mind. I'll help!" he stuttered.

"This story will include:" Zoe began.

"Randomness!" cheered Tommy.

"OOCness," said JP, not as enthusiastic as Tommy.

"K-Kozumi, Takumi, Junzumi, and some K-Koizumi," Koji stuttered, still scared for his life.

"Characters from other series," Takuya added.

"Anything we're forgetting?" asked Koichi, bummed that he didn't have anything to say.

"Oh, lame/messed up humor, not to mention," Lune added. "Please read at your own risk."

"We did forget another thing," Koichi added.

"Oh, that~!"

"**Kaito Lune doesn't own Digimon or any other series in the story,"** the seven shouted together.

Sorry about the weird thing here. I wanted to do something special with the warning and disclaimer and not have to do it every chapter. I'll see how this is received before I do chapter 2. I will finish the other three before this one.


	2. WHERE ARE WE! The Beginning of The Road

**Chapter's warnings: Takuminess.**

Chapter 1: "WHERE ARE WE?" The Beginning of The Road trip!

Takuya stretched and yawned. The smell of pancakes caught his attention. His mouth watered and jumped out of bed. He then noticed that there was another bed and several sleeping bags lying around the open floor. He rubbed his eyes and looked around wildly. "Where the heck am I?" he shouted, beginning to panic. He definitely wasn't home.

"Calm down, Takky," said JP from a table, wiping syrup from his face with a napkin.

"Calm down?" he shouted. "How can I calm down if I'm God knows where-!"

"The United States," said Koji from next to him.

Takuya's mouth literally dropped to the ground.

Koichi gave him a look. "Are you going to keep that look forever?" asked the twin.

Tommy gave him a big grin. "These pancakes are good!" he said, scooping a mouth full of it.

He looked around. "Hey, I'm going to use the bathroom," he said, face still pale from imagining the livid face of his mother. He opened the closed door only to hear a shower running and someone humming. "Hello?" he asked.

The person from behind the curtain peeked at him. Zoe screamed. "WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!" she screamed shrilly. "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!!" She threw the shampoo and conditioner bottles at him, which hit him square in the head, knocking him to the ground.

Lopmon closed the door. After twenty minutes, Zoe came out of the bathroom dressed with soaking hair, blushing madly. "What were you thinking?" she demanded, her voice still shrill. "Don't you know how to knock?"

"How am I supposed to know someone was in there when nobody warned me?" Takuya shot back, glaring a grinning Koji. "Besides, how dumb are you, not locking the door?"

"The door had _no_ lock!" she snapped. "You lack common sense!"

"I see you lack other things," Takuya said without thinking. JP, Koichi, Koji, and Tommy backed away and ducked for cover.

"What. Did. You. Say?" she asked glaring down at him. The atmosphere around her seemed to go intense as anger seeped from her like a volcano.

He really didn't see anything, but he had to shoot something back at her for calling him dumb. "I said, 'I see you lack other things'," he replied angrily, not thinking. And that triggered the eruption.

"Sorry about the wait, everyone," said Bokomon coming into through the door from outside. He stopped, his eyes wide with fright. "Uh, what's going on?" he asked.

Zoe was wet, holding Takuya by his shirt collar. Takuya had a big welt on his cheek. JP was hiding under the table with Tommy while Koji and Koichi were out of sight. Zoe dropped Takuya immediately and looked away innocently. "Takuya was just getting what he deserved," she replied innocently.

Takuya was about to say something back when Patamon came flying in. "How was the pancakes?" he asked innocently, not realizing what kind of atmosphere was there only minutes before. He looked around with a quizzical look. "What's wrong?"

"A volcano exploded," replied Lopmon playfully, flying towards his winged-gerbil friend.

"Where's Koji and Koichi?" asked Bokomon, looking around.

"Under here," answered Koichi, sliding out from under the bed. Koji did the same.

Takuya rubbed the welt on his cheek. "What are you doing here Bokomon?"

"Salamon Dgivolved back to Ophanimon somehow," Bokomon explained. "I've been sent here with Lopmon and Patamon to find you to help you find the same way to Digivolve them back to their ordinary forms."

"And how'd you get here and why are we in _America_?"

"What's this 'America' you are talking about?" asked Patamon. "It sounds like some sort of DigiCandy!" Lopmon giggled.

"Lady Ophanimon said that this is where we're going to find the way to get them back to their forms," Bokomon said. "What's so bad about America, anyway?"

The six Digidestined looked at each other with annoyed looks and then back at a clueless Bokomon. "We don't live in America," they said slowly as one voice.

"Our parents would worry about us," added JP.

"Besides, how would they believe we're in America?" Zoe added as well.

"I'm already homesick," Tommy said downcasted.

"Well, that's covered," Bokomon replied cheerfully. "I called your parents and told them that this was a school trip that you were all specially chosen for!"

There mouths dropped. "And they believed it?!" Bokomon nodded confidently. _Parents are really that naïve?_ they thought.

"So, I got someone to drive us cross country in a small yellow thingy that they called a bus with a toilet. They seem to know Ophanimon pretty well," he commented on the last bit wearily. "And it's all for FREE!"

"How exactly did you manage to pull this off?" asked Koji. "Things like you don't just appear out of anywhere."

"Well, apparently, we are," he said, "According to the man, his son also knows about Digimon. Thing is that you are the only humans to be able to come to our Digital World. Anyway, let's go!!"

"Something tells me this is going to be terrible," JP said.

"This is going to be fun!" shouted Takuya and Tommy enthusiastically.

**Chapter 1: End.**

**I just had the thought of this and didn't want to pass it up! I'll only continue this if people review, 'cause guess what? You guys get to decide where they go next!! Yep! I have no idea where they should go next or where they are.**

**And yes, you did read the warning and disclaimer right. This is going to be crazy with OOCness with reason, randomness, lame humor, and a crossover. I may include random OCs. And yes, this does have a plot; it's just VERY open.**

**I'll continue this in my spare time or if I get five reviews.**


	3. The Rolling Turd! The Naming of the Bus

**Guess what? I lied!! I'm bored!**

**Chapter Warnings: Emos poked fun at a bit. Sasuke bashing. Takumi (again). Koji abuse.**

**Notes: "[ . . . ]" will be used for having them speak Japanese. In this story, they'll be fluent in both.**

Chapter 2: "The Rolling Turd!" The Naming of the Bus!

Takuya managed to snatch the rest of the pancakes from JP's plate. "Hey!" JP said, glaring at Takuya.

Takuya looked back at JP, half a pancake in his mouth with syrup dripping from his mouth. "What?" he asked. "I'm hungry!"

"Yeah, but that was my last pancake!! Get your own!" JP snatched half of the pancake from his mouth and stuffed it in his.

"Boys," sighed Zoe, as she cleaned the messy and sticky dishes. The only ones that were clean were hers and Koichi's. "Don't they know how to rinse their dishes?"

After several minutes, they finished cleaning up and packed up. Fortunately they didn't have much to carry, just a backpack full of clothes and sleeping bags. "Hurry!" Bokomon cried. "The guy is waiting!"

"Road trip! Road trip!" shouted the Takuya and Tommy as they all walked out the door. The two rushed out the door first to see a small school bus waiting for them. It was yellow and sleek but small compared to the others they had seen, being six windows long. {I'm assuming that they have school buses in Japan.} The doors opened to reveal a tall middle aged man with neatly combed blond hair and blue eyes. He wore a red shirt that featured the American flag and blue jeans.

"[So, you're the kids that know Bokomon, no]?" he asked in course sounding Japanese. "[I hope you know enough English to get by.]"

"Apparently, we do," Koichi said.

Takuya, eager to go, ran up the steps first with Tommy following him. "Let's go!" the shouted in English. "Let's go!" The others boarded after them. Zoe looked around with interest. JP fingered for a chocolate bar and ate it trying to sit next to Zoe but was beat to the punch when she sat by Takuya and pushed him down into his seat. Koji snorted with laughter at Takuya. Koichi found a place to sit close by.

"So what are your names?" asked the driver.

The brunet before anyone else could answer. "That big guy's JP, the anti-social emo guy's Koji. His look alike is Koichi. This is Tommy and the blonde, short-tempered girl is Zoe."

Zoe groaned. "And the hyper idiot is Takuya," Koji said. "And I am not emo. I don't slit my wrists nor do I wear black."

"You're still emo," Takuya said.

"Anti-social," corrected Koji.

"Yeah, so is Sasuke and he's also EMO!" Takuya continued.

"Who?" Koji asked, completely confused. "I don't watch stupid kid shows."

"Naruto is not a kid show! There's violence! Blood! Deception! Real world, baby!" Takuya shouted.

"Anyway," Bokomon said from one of the front most seats. Lopmon and Patamon sat on the back of the seat looking back at them oddly.

"Well, let's get going! I'm going to be your driver for the duration of your trip. My name is Gary Shepard and if you need anything, be sure to tell me!" said the man. He started the bus and pulled out of the parking lot.

Several long hours past. Koji slept. JP ate chocolate. Zoe and Takuya argued. Koichi and Tommy watched out the window as the scenery past. After a while, Tommy became bored. "Mr. Shepard, where are we going first?" he asked.

"Colorado," he answered, keeping his eyes on the highway. "I have a son there that you guys may know, seeing that you have been to the Digital World." From behind the seat, Bokomon could feel several eyes bore into his back. "Just to ask," he said. "How come you don't have Digimon partners?"

"Eh?" they all asked.

"You know, Digimon partners," Gary said. "There are only three here but six of you. Where are the others?"

"We don't have partners," Takuya said.

"We become Digimon," JP added.

Gary snorted. "Really?" he asked. "There's no way-."

"On the contrary, they are the chosen of the Legendary Spirits," Bokomon explained. "You've probably at least heard of them?"

"Nope," he said. "It doesn't matter, though. I bet you guys are bored of hearing the married couple arguing."

"Married couple?!!" Takuya, Zoe, and JP shouted quite shocked. Takuya and Zoe turned away from each other blushing madly while JP gawked dumbly. "W-we're not in that kind of relationship!" the claimed.

Gary smirked triumphantly and turned on the radio. _"-call those friends you never see? Reminisce old memories? Would you forgive your enemies?" _Gary laughed, smacking the wheel and sang along.

When the song ended it quickly cut to commercials. "What song was that?" asked Koichi. "It was a rather good one."

"One of my favorites!" Gary said. "It's called 'If Today Was Your Last Day'. Any song by Nickleback is a good one."

"Mr. Shepard?" Tommy asked, turning from the window. "Does the bus belong to you?"

"Yes, Tommy," he answered. "This bus does belong to me, but please call me Gary. We all, after all, are going to be on the same bus for quite sometime."

"Does it have a name?"

"No."

"Can I name it?"

"Sure."

"Atom Cinnamon Bullet!" Tommy suggested.

"What kind of name's that?" asked JP, opening a new chocolate package. "Why not just name it the Chocolate Lug?"

"You guys both have terrible ideas," Zoe said.

"Can you guys shut up?" asked Koji.

"Koji, how about you help us think up of a name for the bus?" Takuya said.

Koji grumbled. "Fine," he said. "How about the 'Shut Up and Leave Me Alone Mobile'?" the grumpy dark haired boy muttered.

"That's terrible! It has to be something memorable not lame!" Takuya said like a kid searching for a perfect name for his new toy. Koji grumbled again, turning over.

"How about 'The War Warrior'?" suggested Koichi.

"You've read too many fantasy books," laughed Takuya.

"How about The Rolling Turd?" suggested JP.

Zoe made a face as if she had just had something disgusting. "Eww!" she said. Then she paused. "Hey, not too bad. Good thinking JP!"

JP flushed with pride and did a peace sigh at Takuya. Takuya looked at him as if he was on crack.

"The Rolling Turd," Takuya let it roll of his tongue for a few times and grinned. "Yeah!!" He turned to look at the other three. "Hey, Tommy, Koichi, Koji, what do you have to say about the new name?"

"It's awesome!!" shouted Tommy. Koichi shrugged with a blank face.

"What about you, Koji?" asked Takuya, turning towards Koji. Koji looked up at him with a very annoyed look in his face. _Must not kill the stupid goggle head. Must not kill stupid goggle head._ "Whatever!" he said. "Just let me sleep, for whatever power there is!" He slammed himself into the pillow.

"Geez, what's his problem?" asked Takuya. He was totally clueless. He brushed it aside and turned to Bokomon. "What's your say?"

"Okay," Bokomon replied. "What's a turd?"

No one answered him. "Hey Gary, is that okay with you?" asked Tommy and JP.

"Sure, it's your trip," he said with a wide grin. "From hence forth, this bus is know as-" he took a quick breath- "THE ROLLING TURD!!" He blasted the music as high as it would go. It also turned out to be a heavy metal song that made Koji jump.

"For #$% sake! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!!!"

**Chapter 2: End.**

**Ha ha, Koji! I had to do some of that to him. Sasuke's and Koji's personalities are just too similar. I don't believe Koji's emo though, but I joke around that Sasuke is. Be prepared to see A LOT of Takuminess in this though. I'm mostly a Takumi shipper but you'll see a couple of others in there. One could say that was a bit of a Junzumi moment. **

**Sorry to emos out there. I'm just using the stereotypical emo (AKA Sasuke!). We're all emo at times. Not all emos are anti-social, slit their wrist****s, ect. Yes, Nickleback ROCKS!! The Rolling Turd comes from a movie I saw once called RV and they named their RV the Rolling Turd. I coundn't resist, okay? I'm open to a different name, but please keep it appropriate and funny!**

**What else should I say here? Oh! Thank you for reviewing ****don'tchaknowme4life****!**

**R&R!**


	4. Radio Battle! Takuya Vs Koji

Chapter 3: "Don't trust a –_crackle_" Fight for Radio Control

"_Big man. Walking in the park. Whigwam. Frightened of the dark. Some think that happiness is measured out in you. You think you know me but you haven't got a clue,_" sang Gary as he tapped the wheel to the beat to an old song. The sky was a cloudless blue and bright. Tommy had fallen asleep in his seat while looking out the window. JP ran out of chocolate bars, having Takuya try to steal it from him but having Zoe take it from both of them and split it between the six of them. Koji had given up on sleeping and sat and watched the bland scenery as it past by. Koichi began talking with JP.

Takuya made a face. "Do you think we can change the station?" he asked. "This music is kind of boring now."

"Don't mess with the Beetles," Gary joked in a mock warning.

"Ha! There must be multiple of you JP!" laughed Zoe. {Taking from the fact that JP's spirit is Beetlemon.}

JP shrugged with a grin. The others grinned as well. Gary changed the station, having it play classical music. "Bleh!" they all said. Takuya stood up behind him, took the dial, and randomly switched it to a different station.

"_This ain't a song for the broken-hearted! No silent prayer for the faith-departed! I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd! You're gonna hear my voice, when I shout it out loud! It's My Life!" _A new song was starting up. "I like it!" Takuya said, turning it up a tad more. "_It's now or never! I ain't gonna live-forever! I just want to live while I'm alive! (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway! Like Frankie said! I did it my way! I just wanna live while I'm alive! It's my life!"_

"Give me that," Koji said, slapping Takuya's hand from the dial. "I can find a better song then this." He changed the channel. A new song as well was starting up. "I had nothing to say and I get lost in the nothingness inside of me. (I was confused) And I live it all out to find, but I'm not the only person wit these things in mind (inside of me) but all that they can see the words revealed is the only real thing that I got left to feel (nothing to lose) just stuck hollow and alone  
and the fault is my own and the fault is my own! I wanna heal! I wanna feel! What I thought was never real-!"

Takuya grabbed the dial and switched it back. "I ain't gonna live forever! I just want to live while I'm alive! (It's my life)  
My heart is like an open highway! Like Frankie said, I did it my way!  
I just want to live while I'm alive! 'Cause it's my li-!"

Koji switched it back. "-find something I've wanted all along! Somewhere I belong! And I got nothing to say. I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face. (I was confused)"

It went back and forth like this until the song that Takuya had found ended, making them listen to the rest of Koji's song. Koji smirked in satisfaction. Takuya glared at the older boy. Eventually, a new song came on.

_It's been one week since you looked at me, Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry. Five days since you laughed at me saying get that together come back and see me. Three days since the living room I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you? Yesterday you'd forgiven me but it'll still be two days till I say 'I'm sorry'. _

_Hold it now and watch the hoodwink. As I make you stop, think you'll think you're looking at Aquaman. I summon fish to the dish, although I like the chalet swiss. I like the sushi cause it's never touched a frying pan Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes, Big like Leann rimes. Because I'm all about value. Bert kaempferts got the mad hits! You try to match wits. You try to hold me but I bust through. Gonna make a break and take a fake. I'd like a stinkin' achin shake. I like vanilla; it's the finest of the flavors. Gotta see the show, cause then you'll know. The vertigo is gonna grow! Cause it's so dangerous, you'll have to sign a waiver! _

_How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad? Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad. I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral. Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will.  
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve. I have a history of taking off my shirt. _

_It's been one week since you looked at me. Threw your arms in the air and said, 'You're crazy!' Five days since you tackled me. I've still got the rug burns on both my knees. It's been three days since the afternoon you realized it's not my fault. Not a moment too soon! Yesterday you'd forgiven me, and now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry._

_Chickity __China__ the Chinese chicken! You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'! Watchin' x-files with no lights on, were dans la mason? I hope the smoking mans in this one! Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic, Like sting I'm snickers, guaranteed to satisfy  
Like kurasawa I make mad, I don't make films  
But if I did they'd have a samurai! Gonna get a set of better find the kind with tiny nubs just so my  
Irons aren't always flying off the back-swing! Gotta get in tune with sailor moon 'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime make me think the wrong thing!_

_How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad? Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad. I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral. Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will.  
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve. I have a history of losing my shirt._

_  
It's been one week since you looked at me; dropped your arms to your sides and said I'm sorry. Five days since I laughed at you  
and said you just did just what I thought you were gonna do! Three days since the living realized were both to blame, but what could we do? Yesterday you just smiled at me, Cause it'll still be two days till we say were still be two days till we say were still be two days till we say were stadium, home of the Robbie."_

"Ah, I haven't heard this song for a while," chuckled Gary. He changed the channel as the station went to a commercial break.

"_If you're boy friend says he has beef, tell him I'm a vegetarian and I ain't scared of him! She wants to touch me right~! She wants to love me right~! She'll never leave me~! Woo! Whoo! Whoo~! Don't trust a **crackle**!" _Gary quickly switched it.

"What was it about to say?" asked Zoe.

"What was it about to say?" asked Zoe.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Hey, Takuya, want to choose the next station?"

"Sure!" Takuya switched the station.

"Oh, not that song!" Koji said before the first word they heard could finish.

"Hey! Gary said that I could choose the station!" Takuya complained, switching it back.

"Well, get in line!" Koji switched the station to a heavy rock station.

Takuya switched it back while insulting Koji about the taste in music he had. The two kept at it. Zoe sighed. "Boys," she said.

The random changes eventually awoke Tommy. "Why's it so loud?" he asked groggily. The two boys didn't take any notice to Tommy and kept switching the stations. Zoe growled and whacked them both on the heads and settle for a station playing a song that she grinned at on the first word. _"What I say goes around here right out the window. And I don't wanna hear a lot of whining so I'll shut up. The sooner you learn who's Boss around here the sooner you can give me my orders, dear. Cuz I'm Head-Honcho around here but it's all in my head!"_

"Yep, Takky's the man," JP laughed as Zoe pulled the two boys away from the front of the mini bus. The song continued playing.

"_Cuz a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do and I'm gonna do what you tell me to.  
Because I'm Top dog around here but I've been neutered~."_

Yep, that was Takuya all right.

**Chapter 3: Ended!**

**Okay, a lot of songs! The first one that was playing was "Hey Bulldog" by the Beetles. The one Takuya found was "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. The one that Koji found was "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin' Park. The third on was "One Week" by Bare Naked Ladies (yeah, that's their name). The one after "One Week" was "Don't Trust Me". The last one is called "The Man Song".**


End file.
